Early Mornings, Late Nights..something of a repetitive process

I finally roll into bed around 4am in the morning. I haven't slept much lately. At about 5am I roll over to notice that my daughter has climbed into bed with me, which has become a quite regular occurrence lately, I squirm in awkward positions trying to get comfortable quickly because I know I have a maximum of possibly 2 hours left to sleep. . .

Bright and Early sun barely peeking through the window, I feel a tug on my shoulder, "Mom can I turn on the TD (the way she says TV)?" I pull my self to a sitting position, pull my laptop out from the side table, and begin checking the enormous amounts of social media pages, and email pages that I have for both my personal and professional life. Just like every morning, I get interrupted because, my daughter wants some cereal. Who knew kids had to eat? Lol ;) I head to the bathroom for a bit of morning hygiene, then groggily head downstairs to make my daughter some breakfast...

I pretty much stayed in today, only stepped outside to check the mail. Was quite a slow day today, I mostly cleaned, researched, cooked, and watched a few episodes of Dora the Explorer. It's bedtime for my daughter now. She was fed, and bathed, and tucked into bed. Everything was peaceful for awhile, I was researching things, and listening to music. Next thing I know my daughter is crying, I told her to come see me, and she did but only to the bottom of the stairs. Her cry silenced and turn into a bit of whining. I got up to see what exactly was going on. Somehow she tried to put a hair tie in her bun that I had fixed earlier, and it got stuck on the bannister of the stairs, at the very top of the stairs. She had walked all the way down the stairs stretching this rubber band about 26 stairs while it was still in her hair. I panicked, and then grabbed the scissors to cut it, but I was still astonished. One little rubber band, stretched 26 stairs, and my daughter who is fully capable of speaking, didn't say a word but yet accomplished something I thought would be impossible. 

I am now sitting here writing this blog with a million things running through my mind, not only the crazy rubber band thing, but wondering what time she will actually fall asleep so I can get ready to get on cam. Her head must hurt. 

Thoughts begin to stamped my mind..

Hmm..what to wear tonight? Casual, sexy, or fun? How should I do my make up? Light eyeliner or sexy cat eyes? Should I do the show downstairs or upstairs in my room? Are those knee highs even clean? I really need to get a new lamp, mine is a bit of a fire hazard. I have so many errands to run tomorrow should I cut camming short or just deal with being a bit groggy throughout the day because I really need to reach my payout goal? 

My thoughts never seemed to be organized, always a bit hectic and usually not thorough.  

Time for a bit more research and a little social media, while I wait for my daughter to be fast asleep. Then I will most likely head up stairs go through my clothes, pick out an outfit, strip down to my bra and panties, and plop on the floor with my make up box. . .

When the make up is complete, most times I just run around my bedroom partially nude picking out toys, unfolding my tripod, setting up lighting, and then eventually getting dressed (all while contemplating what goal I should do tonight). I tend to light a cigarette, while restarting my computer so it is at its best performance, then quickly checking social media networks and letting my followers know I will be on Chaturbate soon.

 

Indecisive and Unhinged

There are days where I am not too sure about things, and other days when I wish I had the ability to bitch slap someone through their computers...At least today ended on a positive note. 

It's kind of weird, some day's I go through phases where I want to cam, and others where I just don't feel up to it. I was literally cammed-out for like 2 months straight, but then again Chaturbate has it's peaks and it's lows. I can't say that it isn't annoying because this is how I pay my bills. Although that is the reason I actually get my ass motivated to get on cam, because I do have bills to pay. The thing is, sometimes even with shit loads of motivation, I still won't get on because my mood is incredibly important- just like it would be with any other profession, and I am not that great at faking my bubbly personality.

This is slightly random but it really reminds me of a few comments I received from other models. I tend to creep models rooms, and talk to them, because cam friends are always good to have. Anyways, a few months ago, I was in someone's room and she was new and asking for advice, and I told her about goals, and maturbating on cam. She literally said, "Oh hell no, I am not going to get naked and play with my pussy like a fucking prostitute." I am just sitting there like, Did she just called me a prostitute? Seriously, how are you going to ask for advice, and then dog me out when I give you tips on how things run? The site is called Chaturbate.. THE FUCKING ACT OF MASTURBATING WHILE CHATTING. Wtf? Some people just have no sense. Another girl just the other day went and checked out my bio, and says, "Wow you will spread your ass on here? That's pretty gross I don't think I could do that." Well, awesome. Don't spread your ass then, but keep your negative comments to yourself.

On a positive note though, I just received a gift in the mail. One of my cam friends MystiSyre had this amazing pink pillow bedrest thing..and I fell in love with it. I always mentioned it in her room. Ironically enough, I mentioned it one day and one of our mutual followers was in her room, and asked me if I had one on my wishlist. I honestly never thought to look, so I told them to hold on a moment, and went to Amazon. So here I am scrolling through Amazon and I find one- A zebra print one- OMG I fell in love, it immediately went on my wishlist. Shortly after I returned to her room, our mutual follower private messaged me and told me he ordered it. To say the least, I was too excited! Especially because I am trying to totally give my bedroom a makeover. Zebra Print, and Paris. :) Nice combo right!? Lol My wishlist seems to be a mix of pink, black & white. Below is the Zebra pillow bedrest thing. <3

Introduction to Life as a BBW Cam Model

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